Bad Golfer

When I was starting this humble little blog I couldn't help thinking of one of my very favorite movies ever, Julie & Julia , half about Julia Child and half about a modern-day blogger named Julie, who decides to make every single recipe in Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking , and write a blog about her culinary journey.  Julie, it must be said, was played by the incomparable Amy Adams, who, once she dumps that (very handsome) husband of hers will see the light and become my wife. Don't tell her; I want it to be a romantic surprise. And Julia Child was played by the equally (if not more so) incomparable Meryl Streep, in one of her most smashing roles.  Anyway, as a proud blog author, I realize I can do whatever the hell I please with my little contribution to the interwebs, so I'm going off on a delicious tangent to include Julia's recipe for Boeuf Bourguinon. What you'll read is an email I sent to my daughter, Emily , who wanted the recipe, an...

 Front Nine.  First, magnificent drive that cleared the little stream and bounced agreeably into the fairway 80 yards from the green. A fine wedge got me on in two and a phenomenal putt gave me a quick birdie to start the day.  Second, up Everest. Chose driver, anticipating my usual slice, which it did perfectly right onto the narrow strip of fairway. Chose a 6-iron that landed on the back of the green within sniffing distance of the hole. Again, a terrific putt with a genius read that curved slightly and I smiled confidently as it sunk in for an Eagle three.  Third, used my wood 3-wood for a mighty drive, think it went about 220, then a gentle pitch to the green but 2-putted for a disappointing par.  Fourth, the little par 3, got a hole in one! How about that!! Fifth, my favorite hole, soared over the fairway bunker, landing in the middle of the fairway, whence a 9-iron got me just short of the green. Pitched in for a pretty par.  Sixth, it is unlikely tha...

  Sucked. No other word for it, it sucked. I stink. I'm the worst golfer ever to trundle around the planet in a $10 golf cart. It seems that whenever I go to pick up my clubs I can see them cringe, wondering what embarrassment is going to befall them today. Perfectly nice clubs, too, pity that their life is so unfulfilling.  A bit bored with my home course in Brattleboro, I decided to go to the Hooper Golf Course in Walpole, NH.   It's  a nice course that I've played a number of times, designed by the same dude who did the Brattleboro Country Club in 1914. No, actually, not true, thank you Mr. Internet, the Bratt course was designed by an individual named Tom McNamara, then redesigned in 1930 by the great Wayne Stiles, keeping only one of McNamara's original nine (the now defunct old first hole starting right at the Clubhouse and going along the driveway. That hole was discarded when the course was expanded to 18.) Stiles built Hooper in 1926, so it predates BC...

It was hot and humid, I was hungry and a bit tired from too many night-audits, but, ever the enthusiastic (some might say masochistic) duffer I hoisted the sticks into my car and bumped my way on Orchard Street to the glamorous and exclusive Brattleboro Country Club to fight my way through another round of bad golf. Stopped at the Dunk on the way for a couple of sausage-egg-cheese wraps and a chilly ice coffee to gird my loins (an odd expression, that; it apparently is biblical in origin and means to tuck your long tunic into a belt, or girdle, so that the tunic doesn't get in the way of your upper legs and torso (your loins) when you fight Biblical enemies. Now you know.) And off to the course I sped.  Finally got to play the back 9. Usually I prefer the front, despite the demonous, hateful 2nd hole, but I haven't played the back in a while, so I trundled in my cart up to the gold (for wussies and old men) tee box and set to.  The 10th hole is one I've had some success wit...

  Had to play the front nine again, Ladies League on the back 9. Getting a bit bored with this front nine, I think I'll head to Walpole for my next round.  First tee shot, amazing distance, sounded lovely off the club, only problem was direction. Sailed off into the woods on the right.  Lost ball #1.  Hit another one, not bad, not as far but at least on the fairway. Searched for   Lost ball #1  with no success. Hit second shot, which turned out to be  my first failure of the day with my 5-iron, and it bounced sadly into the scenic little stream that bisects the first fairway.  Lost ball #2.  Hit a third shot from just in back of the stream and it landed perfectly on the green, a resoundingly wonderful 7-iron that was one of my prettiest shots of the round. Very nice. Two putts to drain it. Gave myself a bogey 5 because I cheat. Don't tell anyone.  Second hole, the one up the side of Mt. Everest. Tee shot went a little left but not too ba...

Round of 7/18/20, Front nine at Brattleboro Country Club   Fun round yesterday, though a little lonely playing all by myself (until the ninth, see below.) First hole, shot went a little to the right but I found the ball ok, approach just shy of the green, nice little chip and two putts for bogey Second, that horrible, awful, really bad second hole, hardest on the course and it killed me yesterday. First shot sliced hard into the woods, goodbye brand-new ball. Sob. Second attempt also went right but salvageable. Had to lay up to get around the dogleg. Third shot muffed, went 30 feet and I took a divot the size of North Korea because my club met the ground two inches in front of the ball. Sigh. Next was ok, got about 10 yards short of the green on the edge of that final steep slope up to the green. Next shot a failed pitch that got somewhat close to the green then rolled back almost exactly to where it started. Same thing next attempt. By this time I am saying many dirty, foul words...

  Round played on June 8, 2020 at Brattleboro Country Club. So had a fun round of golf yesterday first of the season, 9 holes here in Bratt.    I should preface this by saying that I got the great Ben Hogan's epic book "Five lessons: the Modern Fundamentals of Golf" which was a very interesting read, except maybe for the several pages on the correct technique for the Waggle. (Did they really have to call it the Waggle? Couldn't have come up with a more dignified name for it?) (If I ever get a tattoo it will probably be, in fancy Gothic letters, " DON'T GROOVE THE WAGGLE! " Profounder words have never been written.  Anyway, after a good ungrooved waggle, I used my driver off the first tee and, unusually for me, it hooked pretty severely left and ended up in the trees amongst last year's leaves. I didn't even look for it. Lost ball #1. Second attempt sliced it a bit just short of the cart path and little stream that bisects the first fairway. Good ...