First entry - round played 6/8/20

 

Round played on June 8, 2020 at Brattleboro Country Club.

So had a fun round of golf yesterday first of the season, 9 holes here in Bratt.  

I should preface this by saying that I got the great Ben Hogan's epic book "Five lessons: the Modern Fundamentals of Golf" which was a very interesting read, except maybe for the several pages on the correct technique for the Waggle. (Did they really have to call it the Waggle? Couldn't have come up with a more dignified name for it?) (If I ever get a tattoo it will probably be, in fancy Gothic letters, "DON'T GROOVE THE WAGGLE!" Profounder words have never been written. 

Anyway, after a good ungrooved waggle, I used my driver off the first tee and, unusually for me, it hooked pretty severely left and ended up in the trees amongst last year's leaves. I didn't even look for it. Lost ball #1. Second attempt sliced it a bit just short of the cart path and little stream that bisects the first fairway. Good distance, and I actually found the ball. Hit a gorgeous 6-iron approach that got me to the edge of the green. My approach shots yesterday were generally PGA caliber, except the ones that weren't. Hit an acceptable chip and two-putted for a bogie. Good start! 

Second hole, up that damn mountain. Also used driver, since it doglegs right and I tend to slice so a long drive with a slice will get the ball going on that dogleg. Of course, it hooked and I ended up on the left side of the fairway. 2nd shot, trusty 6-iron again, was gorgeous and got me into the fairway at the foot of the second mountain leading to the green. Then hit a fine approach just left of the green but then miffed my chip and 3-putted for a disappointing 7. 

Third hole, nice straight par 4, used my 3-iron off the tee and it went a little right but then bounced nicely off the little slope there and ended up right on the fairway 110 yards short of the green. Good for me! I'm feeling pretty Phil-like at this point and having a good old time. Missed an easy putt and bogied. 

Fourth, par 3. Crappy 8-iron off the tee, took Mulligan and hit another somewhat better left of the green (at least not in the bomb-crater sand trap that guards that green like a pit bull.) Lousy pitch short of the green, as I continue getting to know that sand wedge I bought. Have to hit it harder than I think. (But see 9th-hole description coming up.) Then 2 lousy putts got me a sad 5. Sometimes par threes are the bane of my existence. I think playing with my buddy once I got a par on that hole and he said "nice three." Not yesterday. Pitiful five. 

Next to fifth hole, maybe my favorite on the course. Dogleg left after a fairway bunker. My goal is to clear that bunker and get it in the fairway beyond. First shot off tee I was so busy keeping my head down that I didn't catch the flight of the ball. No earthly idea where it went. Could have landed in front of your house for all I knew. There's a scary swamp right off the tee at that hole, with monsters and other slimy, ball-eating creatures within.  Feared I'd lost yet another ball in that swamp. So I hit another and watched as the ball soared over the bunker and landed perfectly in the fairway right where I wanted it to go. Yay me! Went to find the ball for second shot and what do you know but there's my first ball sitting not 10 feet away from the second one! So I hit two great drives in a row! With a driver! Thank you Ben Hogan, you've changed my life. 

Hit a nice approach almost to the green but then another lousy chip and more bad putting gave me I think a 6, disappointing after such a fine start. I really must work on my putting. I'll be a much happier golfer if I can stop 3-putting. 

Six is another nice straight par 4. 220 yards, which in the description on the website says it's "drivable." Yeah, right. The day I can hit a golf ball 220 yards is the day I'll sign up for the US Open. Used my 3-iron again because I like how it tends to go straight for me. It didn't. Flew off the the right and disappeared behind a hillock. I saw the direction it was headed and set off to find it, but failed miserably. Lost ball #2. Stupid, how could I lose it? But me, I've lost balls that I knew were in the middle of the fairway. (Once a goose ate my ball. I kid you not. I hate when geese eat your balls, don't you?)

Tried to recover from that but chipped right into a bunker and flailed on the green for an embarrassing 7. Or maybe 8. 

Got a par on 7, that long par 5 that goes down a mountainside and skirts along a pond that amazingly is still full of water despite the displacement from the many dozens of golf balls that I have hit into it. Good drive, fabulous 2nd shot that soared into the air and hit a tree but I got a member's bounce. Sweet approach, champion pitch and one putt for a clean and thrilling 5. Woo hoo!!!!

Was feeling pretty PGA-ish as I got to eight. It goes steeply downhill and across a stream to a raised green and pesky bunker that has a golf-ball magnet buried within. But my 6-iron strayed off to the left and I found myself over my ball for the second shot to the green, with a very large, unfriendly, menacing, probably republican trump-supporter tree directly between me and the pin. Stupid tree. I cursed at that damn tree long and loud but it didn't go anywhere. So should I go right of the tree to the green or left? Chose left because it seemed the pin was a bit more oriented that way and the green sloped down towards the hole. Put a nice wedge-shot swing on that bad boy and BANG it hit that fucking tree right in the middle of its stupid commie trunk. I hope it hurt. Stupid tree. I told the tree I hated it with a passion and that all trees should be immediatly banned from anywhere. Did get on the green on my next attempt but then spent about 90 minutes trying to putt the fucking ball into the fucking hole. I think I gave myself a 5 but it was probably a 6. Or maybe a 30. 

Ninth hole is nice and wide and long and I swung mightily and hit the ball about 30 feet. Ugh. Had another conversation with Mr. Mulligan then hit another drive a pretty damn long way. Second shot went into the bunker by the green though, which made me sad. Third shot hit the front face of the bunker and rolled right back to where I was standing. I didn't even have to move. Then I clutched my trusty sand wedge, thought of my buddy saying "give it a good swing all the way through, like the pros," gave it a good swing all the way through, like the pros, and somehow a great flame erupted from the ball and it flew about 30 yards way to the rough on the other side of the green. I really have to practice some more with that wedge. Sometimes I hit it good and it goes up then comes down right where I want it, and sometimes it goes a mile, and sometimes it goes 7.5 inches. 

So I finished my pretty good, not-so-terrible round, felt pretty good mostly about tee shots and 2nd/approach shots which were better than usual. But felt bad about putting. So I'm heading back to the clubhouse when I remember that my first shot off the tee had gone 30 feet and I had completely forgotten to pick up the ball after my date with Mr. Mulligan. I looked across the fairway and what do I see but a little white dot lying right there in front of the tee box. Then I'm at the other side of the clubhouse and I see there's a couple dudes just teeing off, and I think, well, they'll pick up that ball for sure and it will be lost ball #3. I go to chuck my sticks in the car and out of curiosity I look back on the fairway and the two dudes are up around the green, and I look back towards the tee box and there's my ball still lying there!!!! They walked right past it! Me, I would have picked it up and it would be found ball #1 which is free money. But these guys either didn't see it or were true gentlemen so I trotted across the fairway and picked up my little ball and we had a nice little reunion. 

So that's my round. It was fun but kind of lonely; Julia passed so she could work on her garden and not be bored silly following me around the golf course, so I talked to myself quite a bit, including some effusive compliments to myself and rebukes for my uber-shitty putting.