Played July 17, 2020

Round of 7/18/20, Front nine at Brattleboro Country Club


 Fun round yesterday, though a little lonely playing all by myself (until the ninth, see below.)


First hole, shot went a little to the right but I found the ball ok, approach just shy of the green, nice little chip and two putts for bogey

Second, that horrible, awful, really bad second hole, hardest on the course and it killed me yesterday. First shot sliced hard into the woods, goodbye brand-new ball. Sob. Second attempt also went right but salvageable. Had to lay up to get around the dogleg. Third shot muffed, went 30 feet and I took a divot the size of North Korea because my club met the ground two inches in front of the ball. Sigh. Next was ok, got about 10 yards short of the green on the edge of that final steep slope up to the green. Next shot a failed pitch that got somewhat close to the green then rolled back almost exactly to where it started. Same thing next attempt. By this time I am saying many dirty, foul words to the ball, to my club, to my ability as a golfer, to donald trump and the universe in general. Finished, I think, with a 10 at least. Lost count. 

Third, fine straight drive with my 3-iron, straight and true about 185 yards. Felt much better about myself as a golfer and the universe, though I still hate trump. Fine wedge just a couple yards short of the green. Putted from the fringe and one more putt for par. Yay me!! You know how on the card you draw a box around a bogey and a circle around a birdie but there's no specific mark for a par. Me, I write a little exclamation point after my 4. 

Fourth, par 3 with that grand canyon sand trap protecting the green. Hit a good 7 iron just left of the green, then chipped on and two-putted for another bogey. Feeling pretty ok at this point. 

Fifth, my favorite on the whole course, soso drive, straight but not very far. Good second shot and superb approach that rolled just shy of the green. Chipped this time (too far for the putter) and one fine putt gave me another bogie. Woo-hoo. 

Sixth, a par 4 which they call "drivable." Yeah, right. Like I can drive 240 yards. In your dreams. But hit a decent shot a little right, second shot fair, avoided the bunkers, chip and 2 putts for one more bogie. This round is starting to be fun (except for No.2, that embodiment of pure evil.) 

Seventh, the one with the cliff midway through, par 5. Hit a decent drive, off to the right a bit but that's a good miss on this hole. First second shot I didn't see where it went so I hit another second shot. That one arced dangerously close to the pond on the right but finally settled about 3 yards away from the drink. Pretty good. Went down the hill and found my first second shot, it wasn't bad but I picked it up and played my second second shot, an amazing, majestic 5-iron that bounced right onto the green! This is a par 5, remember. and I'm on in 4. Green in fucking regulation! Hit a very Mickelsonian putt for a par!! 5! Did my little par dance that i do when I get a par. Hellz yeah! 

Eighth, the one down the hill to the big slopey green. So you know when you hit a drive, you sort of use peripheral vision to catch the flight of the ball because otherwise you'll pick up your head too soon and there lies disaster. So I pick up a movement, and when I look up to follow it it turns out that the movement that I thought was the ball was actually the tee flying in the air. Had no idea whatsoever where my ball went except I could see it wasn't on the green. So I hit another, just in case that ball had gone sideways into the trees. Second shot wasn't very good, quite short of the green, but my pride doesn't allow me to take two mulligans on one little par 3, so I settled for that short shot. As I approached the ball I noticed my first drive nestled comfortably in the fringe on the left side of the green. (The ball, not the tee.) So I picked up my lame second drive and played the good first one. Decent chip onto the green but then two-putted, maybe coulda pulled off a par but didn't, settled happily for another bogey. 

Ninth, I'm standing in the tee box getting ready for my usual 340-yeard drive, and a cart pulls up right next to me, and this fellow says "Hi, would you mind if we played together for this hole? Not play through but play together. So I say sure, why not. He introduces himself as Jim from Nebraska and his lovely wife Hilary (with one l). He seems like a nice sort. So I hit my tee shot, always unreliable if someone is watching, and it was ok, straight and decent. He says "I'll play from the white tee if you don't mind," and I say "sure," and scurry out of the way so he doesn't brain me. He swats it, sounded good. We walk up to our balls and sure enough, he hits from 20 yards behind me and it goes 20 yards further. Ah well, my ego isn't so fragile really, so I hit my approach and it looks good until the last minute when it takes a sudden right and lands in the bunker right of the green. He's like "Ohh!! And it looked really good!" Yeah, thanks, pal. So I'm in the bunker and I think of my dear friend Calvin saying "give it a full swing, just like the pros," so I give it a good full swing and damn my eyes if it doesn't pop right out of the stupid bunker. Doesn't make it quite to the green, so after he finishes his par 4 I chip it on and with two putts finish the day with another bogey. 

But Jim and Hilary with one l seem like friendly people and eager to socialize with a real live Vermontah, so I invite them to the clubhouse for a beverage and they say sure. We go in and I order my usual Tanq and tonic with extra lime and he says "I'll have exactly the same." A good man with exquisite taste in beverages. Turns out that's his standard post-round drink too! Tanq and tonic, extra lime. So we sit down and yak for a while, pleasant time, then he says how about another and I say, "The only thing better than a Tanq and tonic after a round of golf is two Tanq and tonics after a round of golf!" So we guzzle that one down too, then he heads back to his cousin's in NH (near Concord)(and I told him my best friend in the entire world lives in Concord and Hilary with one l says "Awww." 

He gave me a golf ball, custom inscribed with "A Gift from Jim Jones (yes his name was Jim Jones) of whatever his business is (some kind of real estate firm in Nebraska.) Jim Jones. 

So that was my day at Brattleboro Country Club yesterday,

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